The Trauma of Redundancy
A personal pain in an impersonal world
Are you one of the more than 2.7 million people made redundant since the start of the recession in the UK? Wondering what on earth happened to you? Redundancy can hit us hard in unexpected ways. It's not just the financial and social implications of having your role 'deleted' as one HR Manager I know sensitively put it, but can cause severe psychological distress. Here we'll briefly explore the ins and outs of the redundancy, how it could effect you, and what you can do to help yourself and others in the same boat.
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The good news
Redundancy is often likened to a grieving process. This doesn't sound like good news at first, but actually it means that you are very likely to process the trauma and recover. A colleague of mine at a bereavement centre told me once that he likes working with bereavement for exactly that reason; people who are grieving tend, over time, to get better. It's a natural process that, if managed sensitively and mindfully, works inevitably towards peace. So if you have been made redundant and are feeling loss, isolation, anger, despair...you are not alone. This is a really common response and it is equally common to recover and move on.
The bad news
Redundancy can hurt. A lot. And it will most likely change you. Research shows that people who have been made redundant are less likely to trust others, even after finding a new job and 'moving on'. This effect has been shown up to nine years later, meaning that as a traumatic event it rates highly as one likely to impact your future well-being, social interaction and sense of community. There is lots you can do about this, as we will discuss later, but it is worth remembering that trust runs through society like veins; once veins get blocked some aspects of society start to die off.
How redundancy fits the five stages of grief
In her seminal book On death and dying (1969) author Elisabeth Kübler-Ross identified five stages of grief:
- Denial and isolation
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
Let's have a look at how these fit in with the experience of being made redundant.
Denial and isolation
Very quickly a person who is made redundant can lose many things; their sense of self, their role, their place in a team, their identity, their self-worth and esteem...these are all pretty huge and can happen within a few short minutes. The shock of this event can turn a person very inward looking. A strong sense of shame and humiliation can accompany the often public way redundancies are handled. Suddenly, instead of being a colleague, you can become an outsider before you know it. A strong feeling of isolation is common, even if you are in a pool of colleagues being made redundant.
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The ability to connect meaningfully to others can be burnt right off, scorched in a sense of shame, confusion and guilt. Much like when someone dies or has an illness, other people can also feel awkward talking to you; they don't know what to say or are afraid of upsetting you. This adds to your sense of being a pariah, and loneliness creeps in. Sounds too much? Take a step towards denial...
Photo: Hilde Skjølberg
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Denial is a pretty strong defense mechanism; it is a turning away from a problem, burying it deep down so it can't hurt us. Some people go into deep denial; turning up at work and carrying on as if nothing has happened, or refusing to tell their friends and families, thinking they are protecting them. Sometimes it is mild; I have known people to express a distinct lack of understanding of what is happening to them; thinking that although their job is 'no longer required' as their HR manager tells them, that doesn't mean they have lost their job...does it?
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Some people step into delusion; that they will somehow wow the HR department into thinking they are so invaluable to the company they can talk their way back into a job. They feel highly charged and invincible, when in fact they are at their most powerless and vulnerable. All these are symptoms of denial, and can be a very strong, if inevitably flawed, way of protecting yourself.
Anger
Sometimes the consultancy process gets this going. Facing those telling you your job role is no longer needed can make people extremely angry. If denial is the 'flight' from the current situation, anger is the 'fight' part of our survival mechanism. Both stages can lead us to make rash decisions based not so much on reality, but on our emotionally charged perceptions in the moment. Again, anger is a way of protecting ourselves. Things can seem very simple when we are angry, but displaced anger can be difficult to deal with.
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Difficult for us, if we are not used to being angry (shame and guilt can creep in for some people just to admit to being angry), and difficult for our family, friends and colleagues who might bear the brunt of it. In a redundancy situation we can feel like we have lost control, are interrupted in work that might be meaningful and valuable to us, have lost our identity and are being treated like we don't exist....wouldn't this make you want to shout out loud and let people know you are still there, still vital and still relevant? Sure!
Bargaining
Again, the redundancy process can lead people into this stage, where the consultation process encourages counter proposals and negotiating with employers. Whilst in some companies there is a genuine attempt at reorganisation and redeployment, for most the decision has already been made.The term 'consultancy' implies an equality of control over the situation that doesn't really exist. Nevertheless, many will take the opportunity to send in counter-proposals, promises to improve their targets, ideas to change their departments performance, even pleading not to be let go...to no avail. Bargaining masks a genuine sense of fear; fear of being out of control and powerless. To strike a bargain we must have something to offer. Making rash decisions and choices at this stage is common, so make sure you confide in someone you trust who is a bit outside the situation.
Depression
Depression is one of the most common consequences of redundancy. Many people report feeling low confidence, self-worth and a sense of meaningless. Motivation drastically drops and things seems to have little point anymore. If you are struggling to understand what this is like, imagine this; you are given the certain piece of knowledge that 10 minutes after you die, the world will end. How many of your current worries, tasks and preoccupations now seem pointless? Whether we believe in the afterlife or not, we all do tend to believe life in general will go on after we die.
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We hang quite a lot of our meaning off this idea, and if we find out this isn't true, we experience a huge loss. Readjusting to this loss takes considerable self growth, and depression is a turning away from this. Symptoms are often opposites; lack of sleep or excessive sleeping, loss of appetite or excessive eating, overwhelming negative thoughts such as shame, guilt, anxiety, self-criticism...or a complete numbing of all feelings entirely. It's cruel irony that at a time we need to be resourceful, dynamic, energetic and self-promoting when managing the redundancy process and finding new work, we are most likely to feel small, inconsequential, worthless and ashamed.
Acceptance
At some point, if the grieving process is working through properly, you will come to acceptance. It is not the same as hopelessness or despair; it is a quiet, often tired acceptance of what is, and what is not. You might find you don't want to talk about the redundancy anymore, that it doesn't stir you like it used to. You might find you are looking beyond it, that it doesn't seem like a focus as it once did. After acceptance, you will be able to recognise, process and express your feelings from the previous stages, and assimilate them into you current experience. There will be a new part to you, giving you new strengths, resources and knowledge. You will be changed.
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Photo: © Runningheaddesign
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Hang on - my redundancy didn't feel like that at all!
You are not doomed to experience redundancy as a loss. Even if it is a loss, we can experience the stages of grief very differently, depending on how deeply the loss has affected us. For some it can be a genuine push to go and find a more fulfilling job, retrain, rethink your life's direction and get out of a rut you've been stuck in. People start their own businesses, families, move houses and take on new challenges. It can be a truly wonderful and freeing experience, especially if you have got all you can out of your current job, or worse, genuinely hate it. You can tell who these people are because they will be the ones coming up to you after the redundancy announcements and telling you it was the best thing that ever happened to them, that it's a great opportunity, that the world is your oyster and doors are opening up in front of you, not under you. Try not to throttle them. They mean well, and with hindsight you might well agree with them. Right now, it's not really what you want to hear and can make you feel lonely, angry and depressed. Why were they ok, and you are not? It's not just that they might be financially secure, although that can help.
Why does redundancy hurt so much? The answer could be Work Centrality
So why do some people really struggle with redundancy, and some hardly feel it at all? This seems to have something to do with work-centrality; how much of your sense identity and self-worth is created and maintained by your role. How far we are wrapped up in our role can be hard to judge, until it is taken away by something like being sacked or made redundant. It can then come as a huge shock to discover we haven't spent a lot of time figuring out who we are, but figuring out how to be a job. We've been studying the map, instead of the world right on front of us. If you tick more than three of the following boxes, you might want to think about how much value you place on your job, instead of yourself:
Allowing a role to take the place of your identity is easy to do. We can get a lot of fulfillment out of work, and that's great. However, having more than one string to your bow means you can find out more about different aspects of yourself, and not be so devastated when one string snaps. It will also help you find new work, when the time comes.
- Your work is hugely important to your identity; you ARE a publisher/teacher/gardener/plumber
- You spend a lot of time at work, including evenings and weekends
- Your friends are all through work
- Your hobbies involve work i.e. running with work colleagues
- Your skills and experiences are very focused on your current career; it would be difficult to get an interview for a completely different role
- Your qualifications are all linked to your current job
- If work is going well, life is going well. If work is a disaster, so is life
- When you meet someone new, you immediately ask them what they do
- You talk about work a lot. In fact, you're not sure what you would talk about, if not related to work in some way
Allowing a role to take the place of your identity is easy to do. We can get a lot of fulfillment out of work, and that's great. However, having more than one string to your bow means you can find out more about different aspects of yourself, and not be so devastated when one string snaps. It will also help you find new work, when the time comes.
Redundancy - what can help
Build a team. You don't want to be on your own right now, and there is lots of help out there. Here are some ideas:
Join a Union. Unions have an unfair reputation of being antagonistic and confrontational, but they actually are adept and experienced negotiators. Their role is to represent you and make sure you are treated fairly, advised well and can make informed choices. When your head is spinning from the psychological distress of redundancy, having an experienced professional on your team is invaluable. In many cases they can negotiate entirely on your behalf, meaning you don't have to go through the extra stress of endless consultancy meetings. In addition, they know your rights inside out, and get get you extra benefits you might not even have thought of, such as money for training course, equipment, qualifications and redeployment opportunities.
If is is too late to join a Union, call ACAS or book an appointment at Citizen's Advice Bureau. Make sure you check out your rights and get any help available.
If is is too late to join a Union, call ACAS or book an appointment at Citizen's Advice Bureau. Make sure you check out your rights and get any help available.
Go to counselling. Redundancy can be a major psychological blow, and having a safe place to go every week, outside of your work colleagues, friends and family who are all so desperate for you to be ok they might miss you entirely, can be a lifeline. Your counsellor will not judge you, check you are looking for work, blame you or need looking after. You can share your shame, anger, mistrust and sense of hopeless and despair, and they will stay right alongside you every step of the way. A qualified professional counsellor is a great person to have on your team, so add them as soon as possible.
Join a Forum, such as on the Money Saving Expert's website or Mumsnet. You can share with people going through the same thing as you, get great advice and have somewhere to check in everyday as things progress.
Try a life coach. It's very annoying when people keep telling you redundancy is an opportunity, and the best thing that ever happened to them, but every annoying comment like that has a kernel of truth. If you are up for a change but not sure which way to turn, don't make rash decisions. A life coach can be really helpful in checking out your ideas and helping you plan for your future in a considered, careful way.
Join a Forum, such as on the Money Saving Expert's website or Mumsnet. You can share with people going through the same thing as you, get great advice and have somewhere to check in everyday as things progress.
Try a life coach. It's very annoying when people keep telling you redundancy is an opportunity, and the best thing that ever happened to them, but every annoying comment like that has a kernel of truth. If you are up for a change but not sure which way to turn, don't make rash decisions. A life coach can be really helpful in checking out your ideas and helping you plan for your future in a considered, careful way.
If you have to make someone redundant
This is the subject for a whole new article in itself, but there are somethings you can do to make sure redundancy isn't as devastating as it might be:
This is the subject for a whole new article in itself, but there are somethings you can do to make sure redundancy isn't as devastating as it might be:
- If you can, make sure people have as many choices as possible. Choice empowers people. Ask for voluntary redundancies in the first instance. Not only will you open up choices you might not have considered, but give the organisation as a whole the message you are trying to your best to be fair and open minded where you can. If you have to go for compulsory redundancies, can you offer them choices about when to go, and how? Can you offer redeployment?
- Don't leave them out in the cold. Treat the person or people being made redundant as still part of the team, even the priority of the team. This can be hard when the company is struggling, but if you can work with them to help them retrain, find new jobs, help them with their CVs, organise mock interviews for them, give them time to research courses or qualifications and keep openly talking about the situation, they will feel less isolated and like a pariah, and that you all care about what happens to them.
- Show compassion, be respectful be honest, communicate well and be prompt. Ask yourself when you are dealing with the situation; am I being as compassionate as I can be? Am I maintaining their dignity? Am I making false promises or insincere remarks? Am I being clear in my communications, saying difficult things when necessary, with as much respect and kindness as possible?
- Offer them external support; coaching, counselling, time off, mentoring. Help them build a redundancy team to help them through this, even if it is not your strength.
- Tell them, sincerely, what you think their qualities are, and where their strengths lie. They will be feeling pretty rotten right now, and a few honest words can be helpful in maintaining self-esteem.
- Think about the rest of the company; redundancy can leave those remaining feeling bitter, angry, resentful and frightened. Don't ignore the impact on those left behind.
- Similarly, look after yourself. Making someone redundant can be emotionally traumatic and draining. If you need support during this difficult time, don't hesitate to get it.
Conclusion
Redundancy can hit you hard and fast, but there is a lot you can do to help yourself. If you or someone you care about is going through redundancy and want counselling to help support you, don't hesitate to contact me. It's normal to feel like your world is falling apart, but you don't have to go through it alone. Feel free to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences in the comment box below. Remember, one for sorrow, two for joy!
Redundancy can hit you hard and fast, but there is a lot you can do to help yourself. If you or someone you care about is going through redundancy and want counselling to help support you, don't hesitate to contact me. It's normal to feel like your world is falling apart, but you don't have to go through it alone. Feel free to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences in the comment box below. Remember, one for sorrow, two for joy!
Further reading
Manchester Policy Blogs - great blog on research findings and exploring the trauma of redundancy
Money Saving Expert - financial redundancy help and advice if you are worried about being made redundant
ACAS advice and guidance for employers and employees
Manchester Policy Blogs - great blog on research findings and exploring the trauma of redundancy
Money Saving Expert - financial redundancy help and advice if you are worried about being made redundant
ACAS advice and guidance for employers and employees
References
Kübler-Ross, E. (1969). On death and dying: what the dying have to teach doctors, nurses, clergy and their own families. New York: Macmillan Publishing Co.
Kübler-Ross, E. (1969). On death and dying: what the dying have to teach doctors, nurses, clergy and their own families. New York: Macmillan Publishing Co.
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