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Because things aren't always black and white...and neither are magpies

Next time you see a magpie, look closely...do you see a black and white bird?  Or do you see the shimmering greens, blues, purples and violets glimmering on her feathers? The magpie is a beautiful bird; clever, vibrant and full of character, but we often don't look beyond their initial appearance.  Sometimes in life we can do this as well; see ourselves or others as Good or Bad, Happy or Sad.  This is known as 'black or white thinking', or to give it a more technical term, polarised thinking.  This is a type of cognitive distortion; it is a way of thinking that deceives us.  The world we live in is not black and white, it is complex, confusing, and wonderfully contradictory.  People are skilled at holding on to these contradictions and can feel happy, sad, bored and stressed, often all at the same time. This can be confusing to us however, especially if we seek the safety of simplicity, and want to understand ourselves as one thing or another, but not both. 

Therapy can help us understand our contradictory beliefs, and help us be in the world in a more truthful way that acknowledges and celebrates all the colours of our being.

Because they are misunderstood

In British culture, the magpie is commonly misunderstood.  Sometimes seen as a thief of shiny objects, or a portent of misfortune, the magpie is actually a resourceful and intelligent bird. Research has shown that magpies are not thieves. They are wonderful parents and devoted partners, highly social and generally mate for life. In fact, the males sing quiet lullabies for their partners every year, so if you approach two quietly in the spring you might be lucky enough to hear this. In China, the magpie is a sign of happiness and a messenger of good news.

Like the magpie, we can be judged harshly in our society. Lots of people can feel lonely with the problems they are facing, misunderstood or misjudged. Therapy can help free us of carrying other people's judgements, and discover and appreciate who we really are.

One for sorrow, two for joy?

A common English rhyme about magpies starts one for sorrow, two for joy... This stems from the fact magpies often mate for life, so it was assumed that one on its own was in sorrow, and when with its mate, is joyful.

People are wonderfully versatile and can be perfectly joyful on their own.  We also often find sharing our lives with friends, family, work colleagues and lovers fulfilling and purposeful.  It is this connection we can lose when we are depressed, anxious, stressed or going through an event such as abuse that can leave us feeling isolated.  If we become unable to share how we are feeling for fear of judgement, shame or wanting to protect those around us, we can quickly become lonely, and live a life of sorrow.

Therapy can help you connect with a real person and share your concerns in a safe, non-judgmental accepting place. If we can learn to reach out for help when we need it, and not judge those wanting to learn more about themselves and strive for happiness, we can step towards a connection that will often be very healing. So sometimes, it can be one for sorrow, two for joy.

These are a few of my reasons for linking the magpie with my counselling practice. As with so many founding ideas, this one has already evolved to lead me in new directions. The most important new avenue this has lead me down has been the embedding of my practice in my everyday life.  Every time I see a magpie now, I am gently reminded of my clients, whom I care about.  I am motivated to improve my practice and develop my personal and professional understanding, which is deeply important to me.  And as I see the magpies busying themselves collecting twigs for their nests, food for their families or enjoying the wind in their feathers, I am reminded the value of self-care and the importance of the here and now, which can so often pass us by. 

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